Stream of Thought...

I'm in a zippy mood today, probably because I'm being fed sugars and various baked goods at work. this is just a splattering of brain matter on a cyber canvas.

- I'm sick of candy and cookies being brought into the workplace. why doesn't someone bring something good? i want to walk into the breakroom and see a catering tray of eggs benedict. not a basket of of rice krispy treats. oh, human resources has peanut brittle downstairs? I'm going to the IT department, i heard they have veal chops and braised parnsips.

- grandma mammy's non-alcoholic rumballs? I'm sorry co-worker, i will decline, would you care to try uncle evan's scotch cubes? they'll get you drunk, and its totally chill because its the holidays. (note to self: begin the patent process for "uncle evans scotch cubes")

- my supervisor eats corn chowder every morning at 9am. cream based soups are a privilege, not a right. "well i wanted to quit drinking so much coffee". i see, so instead a hot mug of clam chowder is what starts your day off. good luck living through the new year.

- greatest xmas movie:
Die Hard and Die Hard 2. now these may just be the two best movies period, they don't need a holiday label on them. if i had to choose between the two I'd have to go with the original. strictly for the fact you get to see boobs in it. either way you pick them you can't go wrong. "now i have a machine gun. ho, ho, ho".

- co worker: "evan, can i ask you a personal question?"
me: "nope"
I'm beginning to see why people at my job dislike me. I'm a total prick.

- my xmas list:
1. a bottle of highland park 18
2. erin andrews wearing nothing but a barry sanders lions football jersey, asking me to treat her ass like a bowl of vanilla ice cream. oh yeah, and she has a dish of smoked almonds. smoked almonds are the jam.
3. a box of uncle evan's scotch cubes
4. an attention span

- co worker: "evan, did you sign up for the company pot luck yet?"
me: "not yet, but its on my list of things to do, just before 'smash my thumbs in a car door' but after 'register to vote'."

- now i must allocate funds for county tax purposes. be back tomorrow with a post that is actually thought out.