but not the good kind of hangover. not the hangover where you wake up in bed wearing a bra and no pants next to an empty bottle of jameson and empty pack of cigarettes. more like the hangover of seeing family members and consuming chocolate truffles that you would ordinarily not eat unless you were high and they were strewn across an xmas tree shaped serving dish (which just so happened to be the case). I've also been fighting an illness which means antibiotics, which also means a lack of posts, which also means i haven't had a stiff drink in 5 days. ever gone 5 days without a scotch? oh, you have? well, you're probably not an alcoholic like i am. which means you're a coward when it comes to looking yourself in the mirror. either way, I'm going to attempt the bar scene sober this weekend. but i have a few ideas that should keep me entertained.
- wear a shirt that reads, "i don't want to be with you, i want to pee with you". I'm sure the fallout of that shirt alone should keep me busy.
- when someone asks what kind of music i listen to, respond with, "i only listen to instrumental prog-rock", then roll my eyes when they ask what that is. thus widening the canyon between me and the tolerance people have for me.
- speak to my supervisor only in the third person (this isn't really a weekend thing, but i just want to annoy the miserable bitch).
- tell a girl she has "assets". I'm predicting a follow up question like "excuse me?". then look her in the eye and walk away. this just seems like it will keep me entertained.
- scheme a blog post worth reading
be back on monday with "reverse new years resolutions". have a drunken weekend for me.
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1 comment:
psht, antibiotics are for pussy's and my shirt that says "you cant pee on me, but i'll pee on you" totally owns your shirt. pussy.
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